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Post by comet on May 23, 2007 13:02:48 GMT
You know you are a true Scot if...........
1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie,Sauchiehall St, St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and Aufurfuksake. 2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie. 3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day. 4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert. 5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink. 6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories -pure class! 7. Ye measure distance in minutes. 8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family. 9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean. 10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds. 11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it. 12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date 13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel. 14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips,irn-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop. 15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it. 16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure. 17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums. 18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals.
19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;
how's it hingin clatty boggin cludgie pished get it up ye wee beasties erse bandit amurny away an bile yer heid peely-wally humphey backit baw bag dubble nugget
And finally...... A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butcher shop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.
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Post by haltnotsquare on May 23, 2007 13:52:52 GMT
OMG - you should have put a warning on that!!!!
I work with the GP and now they think I am a deranged eejit for giggling n snottering like a daftie!!!
;D ;D ;D
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Post by Lavender on May 23, 2007 20:27:21 GMT
I can deffo do No.5
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Post by welshcob on May 31, 2007 15:13:14 GMT
I dont think I pass as Scottish, even though Ive lived here all my life! I could barely read most of that! he he.
Can some kind true Scot please let me know in English what the hell these mean:
"It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin" It's just my WHAT?!
clatty? cludgie? amurny? humphey backit? baw bag?
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Post by lesleym on May 31, 2007 15:52:53 GMT
Lol I know them all
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Post by bluebelle on May 31, 2007 15:55:06 GMT
haha - am a true scot! i say 'how's it hingin', 'thats boggin', 'gon tae tha cludgie', 'um pished', 'och get it up ye', 'ya erse bandit', 'peely wally lookin' and 'shut it ya baw bag' on a regular basis! and i call my horses 'the beasties'!! i was never more proud to be a scot than when i went to mongolia with a bunch of english ....people! and i even wore my see you jimmy hat!
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Post by rhummy on May 31, 2007 16:07:21 GMT
clatty? - haven't the foggiest what that means cludgie? - ditto amurny? - ditto humphey backit? - When someone hunches when the stand
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Post by skylark on May 31, 2007 16:37:35 GMT
hauns....-....hands clatty....-....Dirty cludgie...-...Toilet amurny...-...I am not
Hope it helps
Mossy
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Post by comet on Jun 1, 2007 10:30:03 GMT
I dont think I pass as Scottish, even though Ive lived here all my life! I could barely read most of that! he he. Can some kind true Scot please let me know in English what the hell these mean: "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin" It's just my WHAT?! clatty? cludgie? amurny? humphey backit? baw bag? It's just my hands I am heating Clatty: mucky Cludgie - not a clue amurny - I am not Pass on the others!
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Post by Lavender on Jun 1, 2007 10:37:15 GMT
I dont think I pass as Scottish, even though Ive lived here all my life! I could barely read most of that! he he. Can some kind true Scot please let me know in English what the hell these mean: "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin" It's just my WHAT?! clatty? cludgie? amurny? humphey backit? baw bag? It's just my hands I am heating Clatty: mucky Cludgie - not a clue amurny - I am not Pass on the others! Think Cludgie is a nickname for toilet Humphey Backit - guessing Hunched back! baw bag - mens testicles
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Post by gaylec on Jun 1, 2007 10:41:58 GMT
Come on Comet!! The cludgie is the toilet!!!!
Anyway Dundonian is a whole new dialect altogether - we eat 'ingin pehs' that are 'pure teckle' but can occassionally 'gee usa dreh boke' and make us 'no affy weel' or in more serious circumstances 'affy no weel'. Before you leave the house you put on a 'jhekit' and your 'sannayz'. And if you havent washed your 'oxters' your mum might give you a 'keeker' for your trouble. And if you forget to bring in the 'tully' for your mum, you would be as well sleeping in the 'gairdin' with the 'floors'....
Answers on a postcard.....?
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Post by rhummy on Jun 2, 2007 19:20:15 GMT
Come on Comet!! The cludgie is the toilet!!!! Anyway Dundonian is a whole new dialect altogether - we eat 'ingin pehs' that are 'pure teckle' but can occassionally 'gee usa dreh boke' and make us 'no affy weel' or in more serious circumstances 'affy no weel'. Before you leave the house you put on a 'jhekit' and your 'sannayz'. And if you havent washed your 'oxters' your mum might give you a 'keeker' for your trouble. And if you forget to bring in the 'tully' for your mum, you would be as well sleeping in the 'gairdin' with the 'floors'.... Answers on a postcard.....? 'We eat onion pies, that are very ? but can occasionally give you the dry sick [boke being vomit] and make you not very well' or in more serious circumstances 'very not well' [that doesn't make sense in normal english. Before you leave the house, you on on a jacket and ?. And if you havent washed your armpits your mum might give you a bruise [punch?] for your trouble. and if you bring in the 'Telegraph [Is that right?] you would be sleeping in the garden with the flowers. Hey, living close to Dundee has some advantages I always remember the quote 'Twa' pehs', ah Bridie', a plain in' an a' ingin'in n' aw'
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Post by comet on Jun 3, 2007 18:18:14 GMT
That is sooooo another language!!
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Post by bluebelle on Jun 3, 2007 22:07:52 GMT
Come on Comet!! The cludgie is the toilet!!!! Anyway Dundonian is a whole new dialect altogether - we eat 'ingin pehs' that are 'pure teckle' but can occassionally 'gee usa dreh boke' and make us 'no affy weel' or in more serious circumstances 'affy no weel'. Before you leave the house you put on a 'jhekit' and your 'sannayz'. And if you havent washed your 'oxters' your mum might give you a 'keeker' for your trouble. And if you forget to bring in the 'tully' for your mum, you would be as well sleeping in the 'gairdin' with the 'floors'.... Answers on a postcard.....? having a friend whos aberdonian may help me with this one ;D... we eat onion pies that are brilliant but can occasionally make us sick and make us not very well or in more serious circumstances very not well. before you leave the house you put on your jacket and your ? and if you havent washed you underarms your mum might give you a what??? ....you would be as well sleeping in the garden with the flowers!!! nearly!
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Post by gaylec on Jun 4, 2007 8:32:02 GMT
Ooh well done everyone!!! Gold stars for trying. Will put you out of your misery and translate it for you...
We eat onion pies that are really great although occassionally they make us feel sick and not very well or in extreme circumstances VERY not well. Before you leave the the house put on your jacket and your sand shoes (trainers!!!) and if you havent washed under your arms you might get a black eye from your mum (they're tough in Dundee). And if you forget to bring in the Evening Telgraph (local Dundee paper) you would be as well sleeping in the garden with the flowers...
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