Post by eirewhisper on Jul 2, 2009 13:04:50 GMT
Beware your next appraisal!! Funny quotes (alleged) from appraisals
"Not recommended for use of course - rather to illustrate how not to do it."
"Takes him two hours to watch sixty minutes.."
"Gargled from the fountain of knowledge.."
"If you stand close enough to him you can hear the oceans.."
"If you gave him a penny for his thoughts you'd get change.."
"If he were any more stupid he'd have to be watered twice a week.."
"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.."
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.."
"A prime candidate for natural deselection.."
"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.."
"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.."
"When his IQ reaches 50 he should sell.."
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.."
"He has a knack for making strangers immediately.."
"He would argue with a signpost.."
"He's been working with glue too much.."
"I would like to go hunting with him sometime.."
"He doesn't have ulcers but he's a carrier.."
"Got a full sixpack but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.."
"When she opens her mouth it seems that it is only to change feet.."
"Not so much of a 'hasbeen', more of a definite 'won'tbe'.."
"I would not allow this employee to breed.."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.."
"He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.."
"This person has delusions of adequacy.."
"Since my last report has reached rockbottom, and has started to dig.."
"Sets low standards and consistently fails to achieve them.."
"Has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age.."
"Works well under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat in a trap.."
"You are on the crest of a slump." (this one thanks to Eric Welburn)
"The lights are on but nobody's at home.."
"The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.."
"Not recommended for use of course - rather to illustrate how not to do it."
"Takes him two hours to watch sixty minutes.."
"Gargled from the fountain of knowledge.."
"If you stand close enough to him you can hear the oceans.."
"If you gave him a penny for his thoughts you'd get change.."
"If he were any more stupid he'd have to be watered twice a week.."
"Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.."
"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.."
"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.."
"A prime candidate for natural deselection.."
"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.."
"If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.."
"When his IQ reaches 50 he should sell.."
"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.."
"He has a knack for making strangers immediately.."
"He would argue with a signpost.."
"He's been working with glue too much.."
"I would like to go hunting with him sometime.."
"He doesn't have ulcers but he's a carrier.."
"Got a full sixpack but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.."
"When she opens her mouth it seems that it is only to change feet.."
"Not so much of a 'hasbeen', more of a definite 'won'tbe'.."
"I would not allow this employee to breed.."
"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.."
"He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.."
"This person has delusions of adequacy.."
"Since my last report has reached rockbottom, and has started to dig.."
"Sets low standards and consistently fails to achieve them.."
"Has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age.."
"Works well under constant supervision and when cornered like a rat in a trap.."
"You are on the crest of a slump." (this one thanks to Eric Welburn)
"The lights are on but nobody's at home.."
"The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.."
